Thursday, April 26, 2012

co-sleeping

we're not fans in this house
let's take a trip & i'll share with you our adventures in it & why it isn't for us!

when we brought colton home from the hospital, my every waking moment, he was on me, i could not stand putting him down, or even being across the room from him. yet every night at bedtime he went in his own bed. for the first [many many months] he slept in the pack in play, in our room, right next to my bed. at night that was close enough for me. he was a fantastic baby, only waking up once in the night, if at all [ he would eat before i went to bed midnight-ish usually & then wake up anytime between four & six, he was formula fed, so he wasn't a constant eater.]

when we finally put him in his crib, in his own room, he transitioned well. he had no problems going to sleep in his bed, the problem was the pacifier, he was dependent on that thing & every time it fell out of his month, he would cry. sometimes this would happen ten times a night. so we would be running back & forth across the house, putting it back in. one night it was late, we were tired, we just brought him to the bed with us. 

that night changed everything. for months, he was in our bed. we were co-sleeping & not by choice, at least not ours. colton had that fast formed a new habit, one he was not willing to break. it was terrible. while i love the snuggles, i love my space, i love pillow talk, i love watching tv, i love deep sleep. we would let him fall asleep, put him in his room, he would cry cry cry. 

we let him stay in our room with us & after a few months he was over it. i knew we wouldn't make that mistake again! when braedon came home, things were similar, couldn't put him down, although, there wasn't quite as much snuggle time with a toddler running around. he too slept in our room, for a long time, in a pack & play next to the bed. we would let him fall asleep on us, or in the bed with us & then put him in his own bed when we went to sleep.

in almost THREE years braedon has never slept a night in our bed with us & nobody is lacking. we snuggle all day long, if he wants some late night snuggles, we snuggle in his bed. 

now ... colton on the other hand. we would have the occasional, he would come crawl in bed with us & it was cute [now i never would turn braedon away if he came to crawl in bed with us, he has never done it] now, not so much. in a typical week he might come get into our bed anywhere from 0-5 times. i think it has to do with him waking up. if he sleeps through the entire night, he stays in his room, if he gets up to potty, thirsty, etc, i think that's when he comes in. 99% of the time he comes in our room & crawls in our bed i don't even notice ....

....until i have a foot in my face, an arm in my rib. i am literally hugging the edge of the bed because i don't even have enough space to roll over. its TERRIBLE. every morning i wake up after colton has slept in the bed with us i wake up feeling like a 90 year old woman, with aches & pains in every limb of my body & my back, oh my back [i am currently sporting one of those awesome heat patches on my back thanks to last nights damage] 

when they're little they don't take up any space, you sleep like crap because you're scared to death you're going to roll over on them. when they're four, they're huge. they sleep upside down, sideways, you don't sleep because they don't let you!

like this, only with a little person ... 5 times larger than the pictured baby.
[yes, i have actually ditched the bed & moved to the couch before]

& that my friends is why we don't co sleep in this house.

[i have nothing against co-sleeping. if it works for you & that's what you choose more power to you. it just has never been the right choice for our family]



2 comments:

Sarah [NurseLovesFarmer.com] said...

I hope no one finds me here and fires on me for this comment, but I agree with you 100%. I am/we are 100% so NOT a co-sleeping family. Neither is Braden. We are the exact opposite. I decided from early on when I was pregnant that I would not be able to co-sleep or bed share. I am a light sleeper and knew my new motherly instincts would keep me up all night, even with a baby at the bedside, with all the normal baby grunts, groans, and moans. I would be worried all night. So in his own crib in his own room from day #1. When he was having sleep troubles around 4 months, I'd bring him in bed to nurse him, but even then he hated it and we hated it too. It was just convenient to feed him - I didn't have to get up.

I do not get bed sharing at all. I think it ruins intimacy in a marriage, I know the bed isn't the only place to have sex, but in the bed a lot of other things happen. Pillow talk, cuddling for a movie...plus you would NEVER get to escape your kids. If it works for you and your family, I know it does for a lot, that's superb. Just so not for me!♠

Brandy said...

We're not a co-sleeping family--well, not by choice! We decided from the get-go that that wasn't our style, but here we are, 3 and half years down the road, and out of nowhere, my daughter has started slipping into our room at night. Parents are so comatose and sleep-deprived (got an 8 month old too) that we don't have the energy to take her back to her room. I'm not sure what's waking her up--scary dreams, maybe--but this has just happened so randomly. She'd NEVER slept in our bed. Now, we can't get her to stay in her room!