Wednesday, October 5, 2011

a birth story: colton j ♥

as i sit & look through pictures of colton over the years from newborn to now i am overwhelmed with happiness. he has brought such joy to my life, there are no words to explain my love for him. with those pictures i am also flooded with memories of how he came to be in this world. so sit back, grab the popcorn & enjoy a birth story: colton j. this post isn't quick & sweet because well, that's not how it went

my pregnancy with colton was NO walk in the park. i will come right out & say i HATED being pregnant. i didn't enjoy it. i didn't glow. i found out i was pregnant in february of 2007. if you do the math you will realize i knew ... oh just about the minute it happened[that makes for a really long pregnancy]. i hadn't missed my period. i didn't have any symptoms, i just new. i called jeremiah at work & told him to bring home a test. ... that i needed to take one because i knew. he brought home a two pack. i took one late that night & another in the morning. after about 3 seconds it was positive. both times. oh boy was i a mixed ball of emotions. nervous, scared, happy. [we'll save that & how we told my parents for another day]

it didn't take very long for me to get sick & boy was i ever sick. i quit my job in may 2007 because i just couldn't do it anymore. i was too sick, too often. there were lots of trips to the ER. lots of IVs. it was just awful. i looked like the walking dead. i just didn't look healthy, i wasn't healthy. by the time i was 6 months pregnant i weighed less than 120 pounds. i had lost close to 30 pounds. 

that started quickly changing. by the end of the pregnancy, i was gaining weight. one of the nurses, who is lucky i didn't punch her in the face actually told me i was gaining too much. anyways, all of my visits were normal. nothing alarming.

friday night october 5th, 2007 some strange things were going on with my body[i will spare details] after a call  to my doctor, he told me to come in, get checked out real quick & i should be home shortly. we lived in an apartment at the time, we left our laundry in the washer & dryer at the laundry center since i planned on being home soon. little did i know....

once we got to the hospital we headed up to labor & delivery. they did some tests, hooked me up to all the machines. my water did break, i wasn't having any kind of contractions but boy am i happy we went that night. when i got there my blood pressure was high. the nurse told me it might be from worrying/stress/etc. they told me to wait a little bit, they would test it again after i relaxed a bit knowing everything was okay. instead of dropping my blood pressure kept climbing & climbing & climbing & climbing, it got so high the doctors were scared. i had pre ecclapmsia. so at 37 weeks i was going to be induced. they had to get that baby out.

as the nurse is taking us to a regular room she says "you're having a baby" uh, you think?! what gave it away?! jeremiah was like "when?! right now?!" she told him no not at this minute but by morning we would have a baby in our arms. EXCUSE ME?! we still had laundry going at home. we still lived in a one bedroom apartment, all our things in boxes, as we were supposed to be moved in & settled into our two bedroom[you know the one big enough for us plus a baby] the following week. we call everybody. let them know whats going on.

once settled into the room. i am given a cathider, since my blood pressure was so high i wasn't even allowed to get up to pee. they started the pitocin. i was given meds to try & reduce my blood pressure. i was given mag sulfate to prevent any seizures or stroke since my blood pressure was so high. 

after that that's when things began to get fuzzy. i know my mom showed up in the middle of the night & brought jeremiah pajama pants, snacks & some pepsi. she brought a disposable camera[last minute remember] a whole bunch of stuff she thought we would need. best mom ever going to walmart to buy everything for us[including my husbands pajamas] & also eventually after colton was finally here, going home to get our laundry. i remember my water breaking, uh most akward feeling i had ever experienced. i also remember asking for my epidural. due to the fuzz i am unsure of the exact amount but they didn't poke once, twice, or even three times. they just couldn't get it in. i had holes in my back from all the attempts. after they were finally successful i had an awful reaction to it. i was already so hot from the mag sulfate. i got sooo sick from the epidural. i was on oxygen. what a mess. i sort of remember the doctors checking me a few times with little to no progress, they decided i didn't have all day to try & wait for the induction to work, they were going to just get the baby out for the health & safety of everybody.

[last moments together as a couple before baby]
yes. i kinda look like death because that's how i felt

everything that happens from here on out is a blur. in my head i have NO memory of what happened in the OR. my husband tells me i was crying & crying & crying. that i kept telling him over & over how scared i was. he also tells me that when they got colton the doctor said "WOW, that's a big baby" & then colton peed on me & they all had a nice chuckle. once they they got them weighed & wrapped, they let me hold him & a couple pictures were snapped. to me this moment only exists in the photos, there is not one piece of my memory that, not even in pieces remembers that moment. i don't remember hearing him cry, or holding him, or kissing him. nothing.

colton j was born
october 6th, 2007 at 7:31am
7lbs 7oz & 20 inches long

the morning after is also a blur. actually that whole day is kind of a blur. i wasn't allowed to see colton. i couldn't leave & he was in the nicu[not because he was sick, he was perfect, but he had to be there because of the mag sulfate i was on] i remember, with all the drugs, i couldn't understand why everybody was telling me i had a healthy baby, i was confused why if he was healthy, he was in the nicu & why i couldn't see him. as the day progressed my head started to clear up. i spent a lot of the day trying to sleep, that friday i had woke up at 4am with my husband & sent him back to work, was awake all day & through the night, into the c-section & then some & crying. i was so emotional that there was this new little life, one that i had created, everybody telling me he was perfect, that he was cute & healthy, but his own mama couldn't see him. i kept telling jeremiah to go check on him, i kept crying that he needed his mama. 

finally sometime between 7 & 8 pm my sweet little baby was wheeled into my room & put in my arms. once there, he never left my side. i felt like i had missed so much in those first 10-12 hours i was going to make up for it now. 

[the quality on some of these is less than fabulous. i am not sure what happened. i took them off myspace, where they looked normal. now this is what they are :( anyways you get the idea. tired but happy mama]

after 4 long days in the hospital [colton was "discharged" before i was] we finally headed home to my mom's as a little family as three[remember how i said we were moving?! our new apartment wasn't ready yet, we'll save that chaos of moving while in the hospital for a later post] 

oh & my 1 week appt. that's a whole different story ....

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